This Year's Love
by Miss Scarlet
Summary: Lily Evans is in her fifth year, and has an important decsion to make. James... or Peter Pettigrew. Now complete.
1. The Threat Of War

Chapter One: The Threat of War

"I fear the worst," Dumbledore announced gravely.

Professor Binns, the only other occupant of the room, looked round at him. "What on earth are you talking about Albus?" he said, not unkindly.

Dumbledore heaved a sigh and sank into a chair opposite the ghost. "Things are happening. Terrible things. Someone from the ministry was murdered yesterday. Voldemort is rapidly gaining power; more power than anyone should have."

"Don't trouble yourself. Nothing will come of it. I've seen worse."

"I'm not sure I have. Something must be done. Because if Voldemort decides to attack will we be strong enough to defeat him?"

Binns screwed his face into a frown. "You're making a mountain out of a molehill. This Voldemort is just a craze some people feel the need to follow. It will all die down in a few weeks. There is nothing to worry about. The ministry has many capable witches and wizards who could destroy that young upstart in the blink of an eye." He leaned back in the chair. "Relax."

Dumbledore bit his lip. "I can't help being worried. It may be a serious threat."

Someone knocked on the door behind them.

"Come in," Dumbledore said gruffly.

The door was pushed open and a timid yet attractive girl stepped in, sheepishly. Her large green eyes watched Dumbledore carefully. She turned to Professor Binns. "Please sir, you're supposed to be taking us for History of Magic now. Only if you don't turn up in five minutes the class is allowed to go back to their common rooms. Sorry for interrupting, Headmaster," she added meekly.

Binns shuffled to his feet. "As you wish, Lauren," he muttered.

"It's Lily, sir," she told him.

"Yes, of course," he said. "Lead the way, then." 

The History of Magic classroom was in a state. All thoughts of work had been long discarded, so most of the students were sitting chatting, or throwing anything they could find across the room. Peter Pettigrew, a short, secretive looking boy was in a mock-fight with Sirius Black.

He scrambled onto the table, laughing raucously. "Come on, Sirius! Give me your best shot!"

Sirius appeared on a table at the other side of the room. "You're asking for it this time Pettigrew," he growled good-naturedly. He raised his wand. "Um _Escagotis_!" he roared. A beam of orange light spilled from his wand and blasted towards Pettigrew.

Peter dropped to the ground instantly and the spell shot overhead. She sprang to his feet and burst into more laughter. "Missed me, Sirius!" he called, glancing once at the wall behind him, which was coated in tiny snails.

Sirius groaned. "You would look good as a snail," he teased. 

"I will take that as a compliment," Peter replied firmly, vaguely aware of the door opening and someone hurrying into the room.

"Well," said Sirius, shaking with mirth, "You don't look good as a human, so a snail must be an improvement!"

"Oh, you'll pay for that," he shouted, raising his wand. "_Expelliarmus_!" He watched in horror as Sirius jumped from view, exposing the person behind him. It was Lily, he noticed with a grimace, that pretty girl who had gone to get Binns. "Binns!" he realised, slapping his forehead. The spell hit Lily, sending her shooting backwards. She hadn't been holding a wand, so the spell tore her schoolbag off her arm and sent it shooting out if the open window behind her.

"Oops," Peter muttered, trying to ignore Sirius' roaring laughter. 

Binns hovered in the doorway, frowning. "You," he spat, pointing at Peter. "And you," he said, indicating Lily. "Go outside and bring back that bag!"

"But sir," Peter protested. "I could use magic"

"You don't need magic for everything, young man. Now get outside!"

History of Magic was the last lesson before dinner, so in the grounds night was drawing on fast. Lily hurried down the steps, gazing absently towards the forbidden forest. She could hear Peter's hurried footsteps behind her. 

"Sorry about that," he said frankly. "I didn't know you were there. It's Sirius, you see, he's too quick. I'll kill im when I get back to class."

Lily didn't respond. She hurried round the corner and peered up at the rows of windows. "History of Magic" she muttered. 

Peter drew level with her and followed her gaze. "It's just along here," he told her. "I can see your bag from here." He hesitated. "I'm sorry," he repeated.

She shrugged. "It doesn't matter," she told him. 

"No, it does. That bag will take a lot of fixing. Well, okay, you can fix it with a spell, but it'll never be the same. Let me make it up to you."

Lily looked at him. "Oh?"

"Yeah. Go on, you know you want to. Oh, I know, I'll get you something nice next time we go to Hogsmeade. Agreed?" He was grinning, for some unknown reason.

"But you were banned from Hogsmeade until the spring," she told him, almost with a smile. "Do I really have to wait that long?"

He laughed. "Forget it then. You're sharp, you know that? To compensate, you'll have to buy me something next time you go."

She did smile this time. He beamed at the accomplishment. "I've got a list somewhere," he said, patting his pockets theatrically. "Um I'd like a few bottles of butterbeer, simply because it is the only mildly alcoholic beverage I can get my hands on round here. Well, I say alcoholic, but butterbeer only gets to sniff the fumes of alcohol before it is whisked away again and sold to us gullible children. Honestly, there's more alcohol in a convent kitchen."

Lily laughed again. "Anything else?" she joked.

"Yeah, tons, but I can't remember it off the top of my head. I'll send you a list." He frowned suddenly. "I dunno why you wanted to go and get old Binns anyway. He makes a walk off the pier in lead boots seem surprisingly attractive in comparison."

"Here it is," Lily said. "Give me a hand," she ordered.

He stooped down to pick up a book from the grass. "Yes, Master," he laughed. He sighed. You're from a muggle family, aren't you?"

"Yes," she said warily, folding her arms. "So?"

"Just wonderingIt doesn't really matter."

"It shouldn't matter," she said, with a shaky tone of voice. She crammed all the books into the battered schoolbag briskly.

"Someone been giving you trouble?"

"No," she replied. "Well, Lucius Malfoy said a few things but I didn't let it get to me. He's all talk."

"Lucius Malfoy? He would be the obnoxious jerk in the seventh year, right? I know who you mean. He's a right laugh. He's always going on about how Lord Voldemort with crush us like ants he caught James casting a spell in the corridors once and he said that Voldemort would get him too," Peter snorted, scratching his head. "Stupid," he commented.

"Do you mean James Potter?"

"No, James Dean." He raised his eyes. "Of course James Potter. How many other James' do I hang around with? Honestly."

Lily looked at the ground, uncertainly. Why had she asked about James? He rarely even spoke to her, but she felt connected to him in some way she spotted her quill resting in the grass a few feet away, and she hurried to pick it up. She glanced over at the forest, and to her surprise saw something shimmering over it. It looked like a pattern of stars, alone in the sky. They shone in different colours. Some were green it almost resembled a face, or a skull. And it had its tongue sticking out. Was that a tongue? Peter hadn't noticed it; he was too busy rummaging around in his pocket.

"What's that?" she asked, her voice sounding weak and fragile, as she pointed over at the image in the sky.

Peter glanced at it, and as Lily watched the colour drained out of his face. "Okay, Lily, time to get back inside." He grasped her wrist and tried to pull her away.

"What are you doing? What's wrong?"

"That!" he snapped, waving his hand at the image. "Come on, let's go."

"But what _is_ it?" she asked, pulling out of his grasp. He didn't reply. She folded her arms. "Peter, I'm not going anywhere until you tell me exactly what this is and why it frightens you!"

He looked at her anxiously. "Dumbledore was telling me about it this morning. It's called the Dark Mark. And I'm so bloody terrified of it because it's Voldemort's symbol," he snapped. "That symbol means he's very, very near. Satisfied?"

Okay, I know, it this chapter there is very little on the romance front. It'll happen, trust me. So, the only thing left to do is to thank you very much for reading. Thank You! If you have anything to say, any quibbles, comments, rants, rambles, opinions, constructive criticisms, or anything, then just write it in the box below here. It would be greatly appreciated. Cheers! (Oh, also, what do you think of the pairing of Lily and Pettigrew? A bit sick, perhaps? Tell me! Besides, I've been called sick before, I won't mind. ^_^ ) The title, if you are interested, is from a David Gray song that I like, but I won't bore you with the details.


	2. Properly Introduced

Chapter Two: Properly Introduced

Dumbledore's office was a cross between a toy shop and a torture chamber. It was untidy and cluttered, but it felt like a home from home. Such a feeling of warmth Lily had almost never felt before. She felt Dumbledore's eyes on her, so she kept her head low and stared obstinately at the floor.

"I want you to tell me exactly what happened," Dumbledore said, his voice amiable enough, but with a hint of a warning.

Peter began talking instantly, including obscure details that Lily could not remember seeing. She let Peter do the talking, and she sat in uncomfortable silence listening to his narrative. She felt out of place, as if she had been drawn into something she should stay away from. Every time she blinked the green skull pattern was still there, imprinted on her eyelids. 

She noticed that Peter had finished. She glanced sideways at him. He was frowning thoughtfully, chewing the inside of his cheek. "I think that's it," he said after a moment, sounding disappointed.

Dumbledore gave a small smile. "Indeed. Is all this correct?" he suddenly asked Lily.

She gave a start. "Oh, yes, sir." She hesitated for a moment, before leaning forwards and asking; "Professor Dumbledore, is Voldemort a big threat?"

Dumbledore raised his eyebrows. "I am quite surprised to hear you asking that." He sighed, and shook his head. "A lot of the teachers would like to hide the truth from the students, but I cannot. The situation is too grave to be sugar coated, as it were. The truth, unfortunately, is that yes, Voldemort is a threat. We cannot be too sure what it is he is after. Some people think it is a simple power trip, but I disagree. Voldemort has some sort of higher agenda. I cannot guarantee the safety of anyone if he attacks, but I will try my hardest."

Peter gnawed anxiously at his thumb. "But surely the ministry will be able to defeat him?"

Dumbledore gave Peter a severe look. "Nobody knows for sure. Voldemort is, from, what we've seen, an incredibly powerful wizard. Such a shame he prefers the dark arts. He would have been an asset to the wizarding world."

Lily gasped. Why was Dumbledore speaking so highly of this man? She frowned at the old wizard, and was surprised to see him smiling. 

"There is nothing to be done today, so I suggest you make your way to the great hall. Dinner is being served. I'm sure you do not want to be late. Oh, and on your way out, please ask James Potter to come in, if you would be so kind."

Peter stood up, still frowning, and made his way out of the room. Lily followed uncertainly. When they were in the dark staircase, Peter stopped and turned to her.

"What the hell was that about?" he asked, annoyed. "We should all be out fighting Voldemort right now, instead of letting him gain more power!"

"It's not Dumbledore's fault," Lily argued, a little surprised at his outburst. "He has to stay at Hogwarts. It's his responsibility."

"Responsibility," Peter snorted. He sighed. "Ah well, nothing to be gained by talking about it" his voice trailed off, and a thoughtful look replaced his frown.

"What?" asked Lily.

"Nothing. We had best get to the Great Hall. I get bad-tempered if I miss a meal." He grinned. "Lighten up, Lily. We'll be safe in Hogwarts for a week or two," he laughed. "Until Voldemort comes and murders us in our beds."

"That is not funny," she told him sternly. 

"Sure it is!" he said pleasantly. He continued climbing down the steps. He pushed the wooden door open. "Security is pretty lax in this place," he commented, and vanished into the corridor.

Lily hurried after him, anxious not to get left behind. She emerged into the corridor to see Peter chatting to a boy. It was James Potter. Her heart leapt, although Lily wished that it wouldn't. She hovered nervously in the entrance, watching them talking cheerfully. James was quite a bit taller than Peter, she noticed, then immediately wished she hadn't. 

"Old Dumbly Dee wants to see you now," Peter was saying. "What's it about? What have you done this time?"

"I think he wants to make me a prefect," James grimaced.

Peter laughed. "He must be blind, not to see all the trouble you've caused in this school. Prefect, eh? Hah! You'll get kicked out on your first day, I reckon."

James swatted at him playfully. "Shut up, or you'll ruin my reputation!" he said, indicating Lily. "I don't want to look bad," he grinned.

"What reputation?" Peter whispered. "Oh, James, this is Lily."

"I know," James said quickly. He held out a hand to her. "Pleased to meet you Lily. I'm James Potter."

"Oh" she said quietly. Come on, she told herself angrily, think of something to say! "Well it's nice to meet you too. You're in Gryffindor, aren't you?"

"That's right," he replied, smiling. "And you are in Ravenclaw. I've heard a lot about you," he added. "You've got quite a reputation."

"Which you don't want to ruin by being seen talking to James," Peter growled impatiently, hopping from one foot to the other. 

"I've always wanted an excuse to start speaking to you," he said dreamily, still smiling. "That's funny, isn't it. I've been in the same school as you for five years and I barely said two words to you. Still," he said, brightening, "I always say it's never too late to start a friendship. Well, strictly speaking I've never really said that. It sounds like the sort of thing Julia Dowers would say." He laughed. 

Julia Dowers was a Hufflepuff in the year above them, who only had to see a bunch of flowers and she turned to a heap of romantically inclined mush. 

Lily giggled. She realised that James was still holding her hand, but she made no move to take it away. She wished that this moment would never end. Then she realised how stupid and immature she was behaving and tore her hand away from his. 

He looked vaguely hurt, but only for a moment. He saluted to them both, in the manner of a sailor going to battle at sea. "Wish me luck" he muttered, and stalked up the stairs.

Lily watched him go, her heart beating so wildly she was sure somebody would hear it. She held the hand James had shook in front of her as if it was a sacred artefact.

Peter snorted. "Bloody idiot," he snapped.

Lily had forgotten he was there. "James," she began, frowning, "James is not an idiot."

"No, I was talking about you!" he grinned. "I'm only messing, Lily, don't take everything I say to heart. If you did that then you would probably I don't know, commit suicide or something."

Lily smiled grimly. "I see you hold yourself in high esteem."

"Oh, the highest," he agreed. "Come on, I haven't eaten for ages." He grinned suddenly. "I'll buy you dinner; my treat! What do you say? I'm only gonna ask you once! A once in a lifetime opportunity!"

"Alright" she said. "You should pay me in advance for dinner, though. I don't want you to suddenly realise, for example, that the food is free so you don't have to pay anything!"

Peter laughed. "You're too smart for your own good. Come on then," he sighed, dragging her along the corridor. "Don't want to be late."

Just outside the hall Peter walked into somebody. He was about to apologise when he saw who it was, and a delighted smile spread across his face. "Severus!" he cooed, delighted.

Severus Snape looked down at Peter with a look of dislike and disgust. "As usual, Pettigrew, I can rely on you to ruin my day," he snapped. "And I thought I could get through a day without seeing any of your little gang. Now get out of my way I'm in a hurry." His dark eyes noticed Lily, who was standing behind Pettigrew. He frowned again, but didn't speak.

Peter rubbed his nose. "Oh, don't apologise then," he grunted. "Do you have robes of steel or something?" He grinned. "Looks like it, but I'm not surprised. In order for fabric to be soft is does have to be washed more than once a millennium."

Snape swept his arm out, and Peter neatly jumped aside. 

"Careful there Severus old friend, you nearly hit me!"

"Woe betide," Snape murmured sarcastically. "I strongly advise you," he said to Lily, "to keep away from Pettigrew. He cannot control his bodily impulses any longer than a blade of grass can stall a hurricane."

Lily took a step backwards, unsure what to make of the infamous Severus Snape. He seemed genuinely unpleasant. 

Snape breezed past them, his overly large nose held high in the air. 

"Ah, Severus, like a ray of sunshine, you light up my life!" Peter sang after his retreating figure. "Good old Snape," he said to Lily. "He's got a kind word for everyone. Only he seems to have replaced the word kind' with evil' in his dictionary."

Lily laughed. "Yes, he does seem a little arrogant."

"True, true," Peter agreed. He squinted at her. "You look like you have something on your mind. It better hadn't be James, or I will send you to get your head examined."

"No, no, it isn't James," she said. "Only Dumbly Dee?"

"I am amazed," he said. "Simply amazed, how a girl can go for five years without even knowing the name of her headmaster. Sickening, don't you think?"

My ramblings: I finally added a little romance, which is necessary, some would say, in a romance story. In the next chapter eh, I haven't decided yet. But you will find out what Peter's mad plan is. It's mentioned in here somewhere It'll probably be a little longer. Thank you to all the excellent people who reviewed chapter one – I love you loads. So, all that remains to say is that I wish everyone else would review too, and then I could love you all! ^_^ (If anyone asks, I'm not actually insane, okay?) Thank you for reading!


	3. Spying and Lying

Chapter Three: Spying and Lying

The hall was crowded as usual, bursting with noise as the students relayed tales of their day to anyone who would listen. Peter stopped in front of the entrance, scratching his head. Lily slipped past him and headed towards the Ravenclaw table. She felt strangely deflated, as if a great adventure had just come to a premature finish.

"Wait!" Peter shouted.

She turned round, frowning. What could he want? 

He smiled. "You aren't sitting over there today. Come and sit on my table. I'll introduce you to everyone."

"But I already know everyone" she protested weakly.

"That won't stand up in court," he joked. He hurried over to the Gryffindor table, sat down, and waved a hand over an empty chair. "Come on," he called, turning back to the person sitting opposite him. 

Lily moved forward nervously. Surely you weren't supposed to sit on a different house table than your own! She sat down next to Peter slowly, dreading the reaction of the rest of the house. Nobody even glanced at her. 

Peter poured her a drink. "Pumpkin juice all right for you? I can't stand the stuff, personally. Lily, this is Sirius Black, and this is Remus Lupin. Of course you know them all ready but I really like introducing people," he explained with a small smile.

Lupin nodded courteously, while Sirius shook her hand. "Lily. What're you doing over here? Not that I'm complaining, mind," he added hastily. "Seeing your face makes a welcome change after staring at Peter's ugly mug for years."

"Look in a mirror," Peter snorted.

"Well I tried," snapped Sirius, "but you'd already looked at them all and they broke before I got the chance."

"Well, the mirror was bound to break sooner or later with you two staring in it," Remus remarked quietly.

"Don't get me started on you, wol-" Sirius broke off, and looked at Lily uncomfortably. "Anyway, what _are_ you doing over here?"

"Peter asked me," she began.

Sirius grinned. "Oh he did, did he? Ooh, Peter, you are quite the ladies man!"

"Shut up," Peter muttered, his face low over his plate. A moment later he seemed to have composed himself. "You are just jealous of my animal magnetism. I can't get the women away from me. I have to beat them off with a stick most of the time."

They all laughed, except Peter, who merely raised his eyebrows. "May I ask what is so funny?" he asked indignantly. 

"Why do I get the feeling I'm being excluded?" someone asked from behind them. 

Lily's heart leaped awkwardly, and she felt her face go red, so she didn't turn round. She suddenly found the glass her pumpkin juice was in extremely interesting. It was James again, back from his meeting with Dumbledore. 

"Budge up Remus," he grunted, squeezing between him and Sirius.

"Aw, but you smell," Sirius moaned.

James thumped him playfully. "I reckon old Dumbly Dee's making me a prefect. He didn't say exactly but I could see it coming. It's a bit unusual, being made a prefect in the middle of the year but what can I do?"

"That's quite an achievement," Lily told him.

He shrugged. "I dunno. Being a prefect isn't all roses. I actually have to work!" he grimaced. "I'd better enjoy my last few weeks of freedom while I can. That means get incredibly drunk, set Snape's pants on fire and possibly get expelled. Can't wait."

Lily giggled. Being with these four was almost like being with a very close family. There was never an unpleasant moment with them. They overlooked everything you had done wrong and welcomed you. Lily sat and listened to them talking for what only seemed like a few minutes, but was more like an hour.

Peter stood up. "I have to go to the library," he announced suddenly. "You lot coming?" He turned to Lily, an apologetic smile on his face. "Sorry Lily, but duty calls. I have to do my Care of Magical Creatures report. You know how it goes: day one, I fed the animal. Day two, I fed the animal. Day three, the animal went berserk and attacked me."

"Oh," she said. "I could help, if you like. I'm quite good at those reports."

"And modest too," James laughed.

Lily blushed. "No, really, I could lend you a hand."

Peter looked mildly uncomfortable. "Um thanks for the offer, Lily, I really mean it, but I should at least do one piece of work this year without help. I'll see you tomorrow, maybe."

They traipsed off, leaving Lily sitting, feeling very isolated, on her own on the Gryffindor table. She hadn't known them for very long, but to exclude her like that something must be going on. Had she not made a good impression? Did they hate her? She stared at her empty plate miserably, ignoring all the other students as they slunk out of the Great Hall.

Eventually she decided to go to the library. It must have been half an hour ago that they had left in the library, which was more than long enough to do a simple report. It was strange, she thought, but after being with James, Sirius, Remus and Peter for even a short length of time she hated to be without them. They were so full of life, unlike anybody she had known before them. 

She hurried out of the hall. They couldn't object to her showing up, could they? She hesitated, wondering what to do. She didn't want to make herself look desperate, but if she was there to do work She reached into her bag. "History of Magic essay," she muttered. "Great!" she said. She grinned to herself. "I bet nobody's ever said that before!"

Peter read the paragraph again, his brow knotted in concentration. The words all seemed foreign to him. _In order to perform the change, you must be at one with your soul. Your mind must be rested and calm. You must be still, internally and externally. Clear your mind of all thoughts and feelings. Concentrate on your other form, study it, and picture it in your mind_

"Oh bloody hell!" he snapped, thrusting the book away from him. "I can't do it!"

Remus looked worried. "I wish I hadn't got you into this. What if the change goes wrong? What if you end up as some weird mutated half-breeds forever?"

"It won't," Sirius growled. "I'm almost there, I know I am. Maybe I should try it"

"Not here," James said quickly, glancing at the other occupants of the library. "And when I've managed it I'll help you, Peter."

"I don't need your help," he muttered.

Sirius snorted.

"Well, I don't!" Peter said indignantly. "I'll get it right eventually, just you wait!"

"Just read your book," Sirius grinned.

Grumbling quietly to himself, Peter picked the book up again and continued to read. _The change will fail if your head is confused with repressed emotions. Release your energies into the idea of change, forget about your earthly troubles. The change is simple, once mastered, and the subject must be prepared physically as well as mentally. At the beginning, to change you should be alone. The presence of others will merely make you uncomfortable_

Lily walked quietly around the bookshelves, noting new titles absent-mindedly. Were they even here? She trotted round another shelf anxiously. Oh, how she hated to be sneaking around! And then she heard him. James; his voice hushed and secretive. 

"We'll meet up in an hour. In the grounds. It's going to happen tonight, I know it is," he whispered, sounding incredibly excited.

"For you maybe," Peter snapped.

"We'll help you through it, Peter," James snapped in reply. "I can't wait! Uh Remus, you should come too."

"Alright," he agreed.

"We'll need someone capable on hand if anything goes wrong." There was a pause. "If it does go wrong it'll be a big disappointment. After all that work I would hate it. Are we all agreed? At, say, half eight. Just out of sight of the main entrance."

There was a murmured agreement from everyone.

"I'll see you there," Remus muttered, and Lily could hear him standing up. She couldn't stay any longer. Something big was going on between them, and she just had to know what it was. She hurried away from them, bursting with misplaced curiosity. 

Okay, okay, I know I've got a few things wrong. I decided to put Lily in Ravenclaw because it would work better with this story. It doesn't really matter though, right? Reviewing would be good. Tell me what you think of it. Next chapter Lily's gonna go spying on their meeting. Oh, and thanks to everyone who reviewed. Keep checking back for the next chapter, I'll put it up eventually.


	4. The Change Takes Place

Chapter Four: The Change Takes Place

Lily stood in the entrance hall, shifting uncomfortably. She glanced at her watch; it was twenty-nine minutes past eight. She watched the doorway anxiously, going over the problem in her mind. She hated herself for doing this; for sneaking around and spying on people, but after what she had heard in the library she was so alive with curiosity she couldn't bear to forget about it.

Half past eight. She hurried down the steps, wrapping her huge muggle jacket around her tightly. This coat had brought her a lot of grief, she reflected bitterly. Everyone had thought it was stupid, to keep wearing a weird old coat around the place. What was wrong with robes? They had asked. She sighed. Wasn't it natural to get homesick? This coat belonged to her mother, and Lily wore it whenever she felt lonely or afraid. Why was that so hard to understand? 

Sometimes she even missed Petunia. Of course, Petunia wouldn't miss her She trotted round a corner and stopped. Where were they meeting up? Near the main entrance, surely. She leaned against the stone wall and waited uncertainly. Perhaps she should just go back to her dormitory and forget all about these boys and their secret meetings. But she couldn't. The mystery of it had entranced her. And James was involved

"One problem," she heard Peter say. "When it happens, are we gonna be, like, um naked? Because I am not too keen on that idea. If Snape or someone was out prowling"

"Well, we aren't too keen on seeing you either, so shut up," Sirius growled. 

"You won't be," Remus said quietly.

"You would know, I suppose," Peter agreed. 

Lily's eyes widened. She stepped into the shadows and held her breath. Whatever they were talking about it was well, a bit disturbing. 

"Only there's something else I want to discuss," Peter continued. "You see, after that accident in History of Magic, Lily and I saw the Dark Mark."

"Yeah, we know," James said impatiently. "So?"

"You guys know what it means, don't you?" 

Peter came round the corner and through the darkness Lily could make him out. She tensed. She shouldn't be doing this, they were right in front of her, they were going to spot her, and what could she say in her defence? Oh, I was just getting some fresh air and I happened to overhear your conversation?

"It means nothing," Remus replied. "It is a symbol that has been used by Voldemort. It can be cast by anyone, not just Voldemort."

"Whatever," Peter snapped. "Dumbly Dee's not gonna do anything about it!"

"Like what?" Sirius asked sarcastically. "Politely inform Voldemort that his symbol in the sky is interrupting normal school procedure?"

"Nobody is going after Voldemort!" Peter argued, frustrated.

"Why are you telling us this, Peter?" James sighed.

"I think we should go after him ourselves."

A stunned silence followed this remark. Lily had to clamp her hand over her mouth to stop herself from gasping out loud. What was he thinking? He would be killed for sure, and the others too!

"Be serious," Remus said.

"You might have a point," James said finally. "But it can wait. There is something more important we have to do now."

Lily bit her lip. This was it; this was what she had come here to see. She couldn't imagine what it could be, what it was about, what it involved. 

Peter sighed. "Now? Oh, alright, just so long as I get to keep my clothes on."

"Believe me, nobody is more happy about that than me," Sirius growled. "I know what I have to do. I should change first, because, well, I'm the cleverest, right?"

James snorted. "Go on then. Should I get the book out, just in case?"

"Oh no," Peter snapped. "Sirius doesn't need a book, Sirius is far too talented for a book," he muttered sarcastically. 

"Damn right," Sirius replied. 

As Lily watched, Sirius detached himself from the group and took a few steps backwards. He appeared to be talking to himself quietly, but it was almost impossible to see in the darkness. She began to shiver, only partly because of the cold. Peter took a step towards Lily's hiding place; she shrank back instinctively.

But she kept her eyes on Sirius. His eyes were shut, his face hidden. Suddenly Sirius vanished. And in his place was a huge black creature, almost like a dog. And Lily fainted. 

Oh, I know, that chapter is incredibly short. But I wanted to end it on a dramatic note, and I think that is dramatic enough. Once again I would like to thank all my wonderful reviewers – words can't thank you enough, in my opinion. In the next chapter well, it'll be longer, for a start, and a lot more stuff is gonna happen. I'll probably put it up within a couple of days, but you can always put me on author alert. Thank you all for reading, and I love to know what you think, so please email me or review the fic or whatever else you can think of.


	5. A Long Awaited Explanation

Chapter Five: A Long Awaited Explanation

"Lily Lily are you alright? Can you hear me?" A head swam in and out of focus in front of her. She groaned.

"James, is that you?" she murmured, trying desperately to remember what was going on. Her head felt like it had been cracked open and she winced.

Silence greeted this remark. "No" the voice said tersely. "It's me, Peter." Lily could make out several quieter voices in the background.

"Where am I?" she asked, dazed. "Oh, that sounded really stupid didn't it. But really, where am I?" She looked at Peter properly. He looked annoyed, and worried. She realised they must know about her spying on them, and she bit her lip.

"Outside," he replied curtly. "We decided not to take you to the hospital wing," he explained. He sighed. "Look Lily, I'm not going to ask how you knew we would be here, and I'm not going to blame you for being curious. It's just"

"What happened to Sirius?"

"Long story. Not sure I'm allowed to tell you everything. But have you ever heard of animagi?" he asked.

"Yes, I read about them. I don't know Oh! Sirius is an animagus!"

"Sort of. Well, I can't stand here chatting, it's pretty late. You should go back to your dormitory." Peter stood up, and began to move away from Lily. 

Lily sat up quickly, wincing as her head span. "Wait! Does that mean you are an animagus too? And James? And Remus?"

Peter turned to look at her. "In a day or so, maybe. Sirius is the first one of us to transform. I don't doubt that James will be the next."

"And you?" she asked, her voice barely more than a whisper. 

He snorted. "I'm thinking in a year or so, at this rate, I'll be able to change. Still, you can't rush a miracle." He strode off across the grass, to where Sirius, James and Remus were standing. 

Lily watched him go. It all made sense now, she realised. Well, no, it didn't, because she still didn't know why they were doing this. She knew the effort involved in becoming an animagus; people didn't go through with that for kicks. 

She scrambled unsteadily to her feet. It was so unlike her, to just faint like that. She glanced back at the castle. "I really should be going," she muttered, aware that nobody could hear her. James detached himself from the group and came towards her. She felt her heart flutter and silently cursed herself for being so sentimental.

"Lily," he said in greeting. "I'm impressed! You should be in Slytherin!"

Lily didn't know how to react. Was he angry with her? "Is that so?" she asked eventually, a feeling of dread creeping up her throat.

"Relax, I don't care that you found out. Remus was a bit annoyed, but that's Remus for you. I suppose Peter explained what's going on. I'll let you know when I can change. It'll be great, I know it."

"Peter seems preoccupied," said Lily.

"With his stomach, normally. He's a bit worried that he won't be able to change when we can. He shouldn't worry, though. He'll make it. We would help him more, but he seems too proud. It's hard to know what to do. Well, I'm going to bed. You should do, too." He nodded. 

Lily glanced sideways at the others. They were talking heatedly about something, not looking in her direction. "Alright," she said quietly. "It must be pretty late."

"Come and eat breakfast with us tomorrow," he offered, smiling. 

"Alright. If you're sure I wouldn't be intruding." She began to walk round the corner towards the castle doors. She wondered briefly how long she had been asleep. Best not to dwell on it really. She crept inside, grateful for the warmth from the torches.

She hurried up a flight of stairs, frowning. Perhaps she would find out tomorrow morning what was going on with those four. She knew it was none of her business but it intrigued her, in the same way that a difficult Arithmancy problem intrigued her, or the way a charm she hadn't learned was exciting. Was it because she barely knew them? She felt she was beginning to get to know James quite well, and Peter, too. Sirius was Sirius. And Remus was a mystery. 

"A little late for an afternoon stroll, don't you think?"

Lily looked up. Standing at the top of the staircase was Severus Snape, looking triumphant. She pursed her lips. "I suppose," she replied with a shrug.

"May I ask what you are doing up at this hour?"

"What hour would that be?" she inquired meekly. 

"It's half past eleven," Severus replied, sneering.

Lily gasped. Three hours had passed since she had crept into the grounds to hear their conversation she must have been out cold for ages. "I lost track of time," she lied smoothly. 

"Uh huh. You lost track of time in the grounds with James Potter and Sirius Black. Easily done, in their company, I assume."

"Have you been spying on me?" she asked, furious, then worried. What if he knew Sirius' secret?

"No. But I saw you all leaving. I'm sure Dumbledore would be very keen to know what went on in the grounds."

"So would you," Lily snapped. "As you have absolutely no idea! It got a bit stuffy in my dorm, so I decided to go out for a bit of fresh air. I know that you aren't supposed to, but I felt a bit sick. I almost fainted," she said, allowing a trace of a smile to appear on her lips. "I'm sorry Severus," she said sweetly, if that upsets you, but I felt it was necessary. Tell Dumbledore if you wish, but I'm sure he will understand."

Severus eyed her uncertainly. "Are you friends with James Potter and his cronies?" he asked angrily.

"We are acquaintances," she admitted frankly. 

Severus shook his head. "Well. You should be getting back, if you have sufficient air to get you through the night."

Lily couldn't tell whether he was being sarcastic or not. "Yes, thank you," she replied. He swept away imperiously. Had he believed her story? Probably, as he had no reason not to. But Severus was suspicious, which had to be a bad thing. She sighed. It didn't seem like anything was ever going to make sense.

On her way to the Great Hall the next morning, Lily heard an unusual conversation. She was tying her shoelace at the end of a corridor where it joined a different one, and she heard a group of people coming down the adjacent corridor. 

"It will happen soon, I promise you. The Dark Lord is not waiting so long for nothing. It is all part of his plan."

"And was it him who sent the Dark Mark into the sky?" asked an excited voice.

There was a pause. "Yes," the first voice agreed eventually. "Yes it was."

Lily stood up. Whoever that was, they were discussing Voldemort. She stepped into view, partly because she had had more than enough of snooping around. In front of her were Lucius Malfoy and a gang of Voldemort groupies he was always tailed by. 

Lily turned away from them and walked in the direction of the Great Hall. She could hear muffled laughter coming from behind her.

"Oh, look everyone, it's mudblood Lily!" crowed Lucius.

Lily felt her face redden, and she walked faster.

"Where ya going, mudblood?" one of them called out.

She breathed deeply and turned around. They seemed mildly surprised that she was confronting them, but it didn't last for long. 

"The Great Hall," she snapped. "You got a problem with that?"

"Yes," said Lucius softly. "Because we don't want your type in our school. We like our school to be clean and hygienic." He approached her, a gentle smile on his face. "We don't want filth crawling around like it owns the place, now do we?"

"Well," she replied, her fists clenched. "We don't always get what we want." She narrowed her eyes and stalked away.

"No," Lucius murmured. "You're still alive."

Lily stopped. She breathed in deeply. "How," she began, her voice thick with rage. "How dare you!" she almost shrieked, drawing her wand.

"Oh please," Lucius scoffed. "Don't insult me by waving that thing at me. But remember this, mudblood. Your kind'll be the first to go when Voldemort comes into power." He winked, turned, and stalked away. 

Lily sighed heavily. "Why does he insist on tormenting me?" she asked the world in general. "What is he achieving?" she turned and began to trudge back to the Hall, shaking all over with rage and tears flowing freely down her cheeks.

Thank you for reading! I swear something interesting will happen in the next chapter! ^_^ Thanks to all my amazing reviewers – I couldn't do it without you. Keep checking back if you want to see when the next chapter is up, it'll probably be in a few days. Please review again, people! 


	6. A Proposition

Chapter Six: A Proposition

Lily sat at the Ravenclaw table quietly, occasionally taking a bite out of a piece of toast. Her eyes were still red from when she had seen Lucius before, and she couldn't concentrate on anything. All she could do was think about what he had said and what she should have said and done. There was hardly anyone else around, breakfast was nearly over.

Someone sat down next to her. It was James.

"Hey," he said, grinning.

She smiled at him weakly. "Hello."

"Have you been crying or something?" he asked, puzzled. "You have tear stains down your cheeks."

"I've not been crying," she lied quickly, rubbing at her eyes. "What would I have to cry about?"

"Oh, I don't know. Maybe the prospect of spending time with Peter in the near future. It's enough to make anybody cry."

Lily laughed quietly. "Yeah, that must be it," she replied. 

"Aren't you going to miss your first lesson today? You have five minutes. Don't want you to miss the excitement that is whatever subject you have. What subject do you have?"

"Herbology," she replied. James grimaced. "Do you know where Peter is? I need to talk to him about something."

"Okay, something is definitely up. Why would any one want to talk to him?" he joked.

"I just want to ask him something. It's no big deal. Do you know where he is? It's quite important."

"Um probably outside. He said something about soaking up the sunshine for a while. He'll be by the lake."

"But it's winter! There isn't any sunshine."

James shrugged. "What can I say, Peter likes to lie. He's probably doing something dangerous or illegal. Probably both. Well, I'd better run. I have to see Dumbly Dee again. I've got a free period but I'm just not free to enjoy it. See you around!"

"Yeah, I hope so," she said, feeling very out of place. Talking to James was the most natural thing in the world to her, but when they stopped talking she was at a loss. She watched him go with a thoughtful expression. There was something about him she felt drawn to, it was unexplainable. She stared bleakly at the toast in her hand and then put it down.

Peter sat in the shade of the tree, staring into the icy depths of the lake. In his hands was a book about becoming an animagus, the same one he had been attempting to study from the night before. He looked up as Lily came across the grass towards him.

"What are you doing here?" he asked. "I know for a fact that you should be in a lesson now. This is not like you."

"Is that such a bad thing?" she asked miserably.

"I don't know. Is it?"

"Not really."

"What's wrong with you?" Peter asked, closing the book and placing it on the grass beside him. "You look like you've just been forced to drink a pool full of pumpkin juice. What's up?"

"Nothing," she said guardedly.

He raised his eyebrows.

"This morning I ran into that Lucius Malfoy. And he said some things. Unpleasant things. I can't help but get upset."

He smiled gently. "Don't let him get to you. He's all mouth, honestly. Let me guess he said something like You'll be the fist to die when my amazing Dark Lord decides to take over this country!' I bet he said that."

Lily stared at him. "It was something like that," she admitted, feeling a little happier. 

"I'm not surprised. I'm sure you didn't just come here to talk about Malfoy. He's not exactly an inspirational conversation point."

"I came to offer my services."

"I'm not that kind of guy," he laughed.

Lily frowned. "Please, be serious. I know you're having trouble keeping up with the other guys with the whole transforming thing." 

Peter looked about nervously. "Not so loud, Evans! Anyone could hear!" He hesitated for a moment. "Well, I guess you could describe my progress as none existent. The guys have tried to help but well, it isn't working. Still, what can I do?"

"I had an idea last night. Only, maybe I could help teach you."

"You don't know how to become an animagus though," he pointed out.

"No, but I'm a good student, and I can explain things. I think I could help you. If we could just spend an hour or so together I just know we would make some progress. Please, I really want to help you, and everyone else. I feel guilty about last night perhaps this is a way to make up for it."

He shrugged. "Never look a gift horse in the mouth," he conceded. "Why not?"

"Thank you!" she sighed, relieved.

"No, no, thank you. I – I need a helping hand. I'm not so proud that I would refuse help, no matter who offers it."

"And what's that supposed to mean?" she asked, with mock anger.

"Nothing, nothing now get to class. I know the Ravenclaws are in some sort of class now, don't want you getting in trouble."

Lucius Malfoy was in the grounds at the same time, heading towards the Forbidden Forest. He jammed his hands in the pockets of his robe and began to whistle a tune. He was happy. Life was good, and he had relatively little to worry about. 

As he approached the forest he saw a hooded figure beckoning to him. He grinned. "Hey!"

The figure vanished behind a tree. "Lucius! Don't be so obvious!"

"Relax, who's gonna see you?"

"What happened with the Dark Mark?" the figure asked quickly.

"Dumbledore knows. Some students were outside and they saw it first, I don't know who. I've had a hell of a time trying to find out about it without everyone getting suspicious. They all think it was Voldemort."

The figure chuckled. "What would Voldemort gain from scaring a few teenagers? Has this persuaded any new members to our cause?"

"Yeah, a few. Not as many as expected. Maybe you should send up the Mark again."

"I can't," the figure replied earnestly. "I have to move on. Some of the wizards in the ministry have traced me here. I'll leave tomorrow."

"I'll be sorry to see you go, Mr Smith. It's been a pleasure."

"Don't get cocky, boy. You know how to send up the Mark, I presume? I hope so. If I hang around here much longer I'll be sent back to Azkaban. Good day, Lucius," the figure muttered, and swept away into the forest.

Lucius bit his lip thoughtfully. This might be difficult. There would be all sorts of wizards about looking for Mr Smith; this Dark Mark might make them angry. But that wasn't necessarily a bad thing. The students would flock to Voldemort then, for the security of being on the winning side. Mr Smith would win Voldemort's support and trust, and he himself would get a place as one of Voldemort's most trusted followers, a Death Eater. He couldn't wait.


	7. In The Dead Of Night

Chapter Seven: In The Dead Of Night

Night fell. Strange, Peter thought with a frown, how quickly the day had gone. Not just the day, he realised. The whole week had gone so quickly that he had hardly noticed. He shifted uncomfortably, and thought over his latest tutoring session with Lily.

_"I think you're almost there, Peter," she had told him when he greeted her in the library, with a friendly smile. "All this work is finally paying off."_

_He raised his eyebrows. "Something tells me I'm being insulted here," he grinned. "I've just been speaking to Remus, and I'm going for it tonight. You'll be there, won't you? To cheer me on?"_

_"You make it sound like a Quidditch match," she told him dryly. "Let's cross that bridge when we come to it, okay? We've got a lot to get through in a little time. I don't know if you'll be ready tonight. It's a big step"_

_He snorted. "Details. I can handle it. So what's on the schedule for today?"_

_She passed him a thick book. "I think if you finish reading this, which you omitted to do yesterday, you'll be on target."_

_He eyed it with a wary expression. "There's a reason I never finished it yesterday. It's the most boring book I ever read! Seriously, they should use it for people with sleeping problems. It should be medication, available by prescription only!"_

_She laughed. "You do go on. I've got an essay to write, so we'll see who finishes first!"_

_"Do you need to ask that?" he said sarcastically. "Because I'm thinking even Lucius Malfoy would finish before me."_

_"Hmm," she replied vaguely, pulling some papers onto the table. "You'll never be ready if you keep putting it off," she commented, and began to write. _

Peter's eyes fell on a solitary figure heading towards the forest. It couldn't be Lily, and it didn't look like Remus, James or Sirius "_Lumos_," he muttered, extending his wand and scrambling to his feet, brushing some of the dew off his crumpled robes. 

He scurried after the figure with a frown, trying to make out any recognisable features. It was just too dark to see anything. If he didn't know any better, he would think that it was Lucius Malfoy. 

He lost the figure within ten minutes. It vanished into the dense trees that marked the beginning of the Forbidden Forest. Peter stopped. He wasn't a fool – he knew why they called it forbidden. Dejected, he headed back to the tree where he had been waiting. To his immense surprise, he found Lily waiting there, wearing a dark green outdoor cloak. 

He smiled when he saw her, and couldn't help but shiver at the cold. "I don't suppose you've got another one of those cloaks on you," he hazarded warmly, scratching the back of his head sheepishly. 

"You suppose right," she replied. "Where is everyone?"

"Damned if I know."

"Helpful, as always," she remarked. 

"Don't I know it. They'll be here soon, I imagine. Am I the only person in Hogwarts with a watch? I reckon I saw Lucius dashing off into the forest. Well, I'm just guessing; it could have been anyone. Heh – it could have been Hagrid."

She smiled, although he could barely see it in the blinking light from his wand. And he made a decision. It was, he realised afterwards, the wrong one. He moved forwards. She looked panicky; her green eyes flashing with some sort of fright. 

He reached out to her, his mind screaming at him to be rational and stop, but he had always made a habit of ignoring his common sense, and he wasn't going to stop now. He took her in his arms, and kissed her. For a moment, one, blissful moment, she was compliant, and passive. But it only lasted for a moment.

She wriggled in his grasp and thrust him away from her, completely shocked. She scrambled backwards, losing all composition. He closed his eyes, as if trying to mask the pain and embarrassment he felt. He burned with rage, his fists clenched at his sides. 

"What was that for?" she said quietly, her voice empty of emotion.

"I don't know," he replied, hating himself for being so cold.

She shook her head. She was, he realised with a start, crying. "Why? Why did you have to screw everything up? Things were fine, weren't they? Things were perfect!"

"No," he said solemnly. "They weren't." He didn't know why he was admitting these things, things he had never known himself. He felt detached, as if his life had just ended. Rejection

"Don't say that! Why do you have to make everything so- so complicated?" He didn't reply, but she didn't wait for an answer. Tears were streaming down her face, glinting in the magical light. He couldn't see why she was so upset, or why she objected to his stupid, stupid mistakeBut he had an idea. James.

He watched her as she fled towards the forest. She probably didn't know where she was going. She probably didn't understand anything anymore. He could definitely empathise with that.

_Don't just stand there!_ Some part of his subconscious screamed at him. _Don't let her slip away from you! Go after her, explain that it was just a mistake, apologise, and beg for her forgiveness! Calm her down, comfort her, and try to compensate for this misunderstanding!_

He followed her. He didn't know what he would do when he caught up with her. He didn't even know why he was trying to catch up with her. But he knew one thing; their friendship was over if he didn't go after her and try to make things right.

So he did. 

The three of them traipsed across the moist grass, in a companionable silence. The moon was swathed in clouds above them, plunging the trio into almost complete darkness. They walked in companionable silence, none of them feeling the need to say a word. They were, however, all completely terrified. 

The old tree loomed in the distance, the contortions of it's gnarled trunk barely visible. In fact, they came across it unexpectedly, surprised to see it's great roots in front of them.

"We're here," James said quietly, his voice full of foreboding.

"Right. So where's Pettigrew? The little runt's late."

"No, Sirius, he left ages ago, remember? We saw him running across the field." Remus stared gloomily upwards into the night sky, and squinted at the blinking stars above. "This is the tree all right. This is where we are supposed to meet. Or were," he added, remembering that they themselves had been late. "Maybe he got bored and wandered off."

"Maybe, but what about Lily? She's always on time, and I doubt that she would let herself be taken anywhere by Peter. She is sensible, you know," James muttered morosely. 

The three stood quietly, confused. A stiff wind started up, brushing against their faces. Remus started and gazed up at the cloud, a horrible jolt of realisation as he realised what was about to happen. "Guys!" he cried, stepping close to the reassuring bulk of the withered old tree that stood alone in the Hogwarts grounds. "Forget Peter; the moon's coming out of the clouds. You have to change!"

James looked panicky. "But alright."

Remus felt the familiar feeling of impending doom creeping over him, the feeling of helplessness, being caught in a flood tide of emotions and power. 

Sirius grabbed James and pulled him round to the other side of the tree. "Come on, James, you know you can do it."

"No," he replied. "You know _you_ can do it. You've done it before I don't know if I can."

"Don't give me that!" Sirius snapped, the urgency obvious in his voice. "You were ready before I was! You know the change inside out – you can do it!" He broke off, and stared at the air above the forest with a horrified fascination. 

James followed his gaze. Hovering above the dense woods and glowing an a million shades of green and red, was a skull. A skull made up entirely of lights, strange, moving lights, darting and dashing about their own tiny universe. A skull with its mouth wide open, and a red snake-like tongue emerging from the dark chasm. 

The Dark Mark. 

One more chapter and then it's all over, folks! I started this so long ago, as well. Thanks a bunch to all my reviewers, especially Kat Potter, who has stuck it out from the start. Good on you – I don't know how you managed it! ^_^ So, until then, people. I promise I'll write it soon. Heh – maybe. Keep checking back, and please, please review me! I'll take my leave


	8. Breaking Point and Beyond

This Year's Love

Chapter Eight: Breaking Point and Beyond

Lucius stared into the sky. He smiled with twisted pride at the great looming shape of the Dark Mark, and pocketed his wand. It was quite an achievement; his first Dark Mark. And it wouldn't be the last – he was certain about that. 

He just wished that the mysterious Mr. Smith had been around to see it. He would have been proud, no doubt about that. Lucius paused, frowning, the Mark still glittering above him. The more he thought about Mr. Smith, the more he realised that he knew absolutely nothing about the man. 

Mr. Smith had, apparently, been Lord Voldemort's friend back when they were both at Hogwarts. Try as he might, he just couldn't picture the great Lord Voldemort at school. It seemed stupid. Anyway, the Ministry had wanted Mr. Smith for some time now, for questioning, only what they wanted to question him about Lucius had never found out. Mr. Smith tended to clam up whenever it was mentioned. He was quite a nervous man, really. Not surprising when at any second the Ministry could swoop down upon him. A lot better to be a muggle on the lam than a wizard. You wouldn't catch muggle police casting spells on you. Sometimes he mentioned that he had been to Azkaban, but he never elaborated on that. He went all quiet and dark, and Lucius never dared to press the subject any further. Didn't want to annoy the man.

And that was all he knew of him. The man was something of an enigma. He had met Lucius about a year ago, had explained to him all about Lord Voldemort, about what would happen in the future, about the time when he would rule the world of course Lucius had wanted in. Who wouldn't have done? You didn't turn your nose up at opportunities like that. So, a few months ago, Mr. Smith had made a deal with Lucius. It was hard, because Mr. Smith was constantly disappearing for weeks on end, muttering excuses about informants and the ministry. It never occurred to Lucius that he could end up like that one day. He was far too clever for that, right? 

They had made a deal. Voldemort wanted Hogwarts. Not the building, he didn't care about that. He didn't want the grounds, the castle, the forest, or that ridiculous hut of Hagrid's Lord Voldemort wanted the pupils. If he gained the pupil's support and obedience, then he would raise an entire generation to be his supporters. Mr. Smith had asked Lucius to get to work at the school. After all, it wouldn't have looked very good for Lord Voldemort if some cloaked stranger had burst into school trying to recruit followers, would it? No. Best that they had someone on the inside, really. And they did, now. Him. He had begun talking to his fellow Slytherins in whispers, tucked away in the corner of their common room. "Have you heard about the rebellion? They say Lord Voldemort is going to revolt against the Ministry, and then rule the wizarding world himself. I know whose side I'd like to be on when the rebellion starts. Oh, yes."

If, no, _when_, Voldemort got Hogwarts, Mr. Smith would be right in there with Voldemort, and hopefully, if Smith was true to his word, Lucius would be able to become a Death Eater. 

He took one last lingering look at his creation in the sky, and crunched back across the crisp grass, stumbling over tree roots and snagging his robes on branches. _Oh, really clever, Lucius. They'll never guess where you've been. No, they'll just assume that you fell off a cliff into some brambles. Now all I need is a cliff. And some brambles at the bottom, of course. _

After a few minutes solid walking, he became aware of a figure some way off, crashing through the trees at an alarming rate. Lucius' first thought was that it was a teacher. Dumbledore! His blood froze at the very thought. But no, it couldn't be Dumbledore. This figure was far too short, for one thing. It must be a pupil. He let himself relax a little, breathing out into the chill night air. Any other student in the forest was going to be in just as much trouble as him if they were caught. _And that_, he thought with a smile, _is a big if._

He pushed forwards, angrily snapping off a twig that was tugging at his ankles. Whoever was out there was going to get one hell of a shock. And maybe, just maybe, he could pin the casting of the Dark Mark onto that person. Tonight was shaping out to be a very good night indeed.

"Lumos," he muttered, pulling out his wand and raising it above his head. The figure jumped in surprise at the sudden intrusion of light, and turned towards Lucius. Lucius peered at the face. "Is that—?" he asked. It was. Peter Pettigrew.

Lucius grinned. "Pettigrew!" he cooed, delighted. "What are you doing here?" He pushed forwards through the trees, hurrying towards the stunned boy in front of him.

Peter looked ready to run. His eyes darted deeper into the forest, but he stayed still. Lucius noticed that Peter was holding his wand, although he wasn't using it for anything. Strange boy. 

"What do you want, Lucius?" Peter growled through gritted teeth.

"Out for a stroll," Lucius responded sarcastically, staring intently at Peter. "And you?"

Peter nodded, clenching his fists. 

Lucius opened his mouth, not quite sure of what he was going to say, when he stopped, and cocked his head. "What is that?"

Peter frowned. "What are you—?" He stopped.

They both heard the howl. A low, animal, savage, bloodthirsty howl that tore through the trees fiercely. Peter went pale.

"There are no wolves in the Forest," Lucius muttered thoughtfully, mostly to himself. "So what was that?" He looked upwards, his grey eyes alighting on the shimmering circle of the moon that was just visible through the thick branches.

Peter followed his gaze. If possible, he went whiter still. "Oh, God" he whispered, his eyes darting around nervously. Then, without a word of apology or explanation, he turned and sprinted away through the trees, cursing furiously. 

---

Oh, why did it have to be so dark? Why couldn't this all be happening in the middle of a nice sunny day, when he could see where he was going? Because if it were day, then Remus wouldn't have transformed – he'd recognise that howl anywhere – and Lily wouldn't be in danger.

Lily his throat tightened unpleasantly. It was his fault that she was out there, all alone, frightened, confused dammit!

He crashed onwards, charging through the trees without a care for his own safety. If he found Remus first, then at least Lily would have more time to get back to the castle. 

_Hold on, Lily I'm coming_

---

Lily Evans was sitting on the damp grass, her back pushed against the tough bark of a tree, glaring at the ground balefully, as if she held it personally responsible for some great travesty. Her tears had long since dried, although they had left long red stains across her cheeks, so even an idiot like Malfoy would have been able to tell that she had been crying.

If only she wasn't such a such a _wimp_! Why did she have to go running off into the forest? Why couldn't she have just explained to Peter what she felt, told him that she didn't think of him that way, told him that she wished they could be friends? Because she was a wimp. And she hated it. 

She heard something in the bushes to her right, and glanced in that direction. Nothing. She went back to staring at the ground, her fists clenched tightly. 

_How am I going to explain this to him? How can I look him in the face again? I was so horrible to him; told him he'd ruined everything He must hate me_

Crunch. There was definitely something in the bushes. Still Lily paid it no heed, too engrossed in her own miserable thoughts to look up. Crunch.

_And he'll tell James and the others, and they'll all hate me, and none of them will ever speak to me again! I'll just be annoying prefect Lily, too good to hang around with any of us'_

Crunch. Crunch. The bushed rattled ominously. Suddenly, Lily felt very uncomfortable, as if she was being watched. She scrambled to her feet, digging in her pockets for her wand, which she held before her tentatively.

"Who's there?" she called, sounding a lot braver than she felt. Her wand didn't seem all that impressive, or dangerous, out here in the darkness, surrounded by trees and bushes and who knows what else "I'm armed!" she snapped.

The bushes exploded, a blur of flashing brown and snarling teeth came thrashing out, shooting towards Lily with incredible speed.

Lily screamed.

---

James Potter heard her. He didn't hesitate. He didn't even think. If he had thought it through, he would have realised that he stood no chance against Remus when he was in his wolf form, no chance at all, and neither did Lily, so they probably both end up in the hospital wing, or worse. 

But it was Lily. _Not_ going to help her was out of the question. It was Lily and he couldn't bear to think of her being hurt. He couldn't bear it he'd rather die a thousand times over, than put her in danger. And he was going to save her.

So he ran.

---

Peter Pettigrew heard her. He stopped dead. They were close, so very close

Cold fear began to seep up his spine, filling his mind with horrible pictures of what might have happened to Lily. He had to help her, he just had to. He didn't know why, and he didn't care. All this was his fault, and he was not going to let her get hurt. Never.

He rushed forwards; all too aware that every second he took could be a second too long. He stumbled over a tree root, blinded by panic, and toppled to the ground, where he landed in an ungraceful heap on the ground.

"Ow" he moaned, reaching up and rubbing his head. He winced. Then he looked up. And there she was.

Lily Evans was backing away from something large and hairy, all snarls and teeth and claws. It was Remus all right. How could they have forgotten that it was full moon? How could they have been so caught up in their transformation that they didn't remember why it was that they were transforming?

_Transforming_

He tried to get to his feet, but the movement caught the attention of the werewolf. It turned its great shaggy head swiftly, eyes narrowed. In a single bound it crossed the small clearing towards him, teeth bared, moving in for the kill

Peter knew what he had to do. 

_In order to perform the change, you must be at one with your soul. Your mind must be rested and calm. You must be still, internally and externally. Clear your mind of all thoughts and feelings. Concentrate on your other form, study it, and picture it in your mind_

Easier said, he thought, but he had no time to dwell on the complications of the procedure. He just had to do it. He had to change, he had to, he had to, _he had to_

And all of a sudden, Peter Pettigrew was no longer there. The werewolf pulled up short, confused, casting its head this was and that to try and discover where its prey had fled. The werewolf did not look down. Why should it have done? The prey could not shrink, no prey could. That was ridiculous. Ah! There was still that other prey, they frightened one The werewolf turned around, forgetting the vanishing prey in the face of much greater things.

And, below it, creeping about in the undergrowth, Peter Pettigrew looked up, watching the werewolf with his beady black eyes, and twitched his whiskers. 

---

She could feel the steely gaze of the werewolf return to her, and her heart sank. Whatever had distracted the werewolf obviously was not as interesting as she was.

Her mind raced over her Defence against the Dark Arts lessons, desperate for any clue that might help her. _Okay, okay, what hurts werewolves? Silver? I don't have any silver! Um perhaps if I cast a weather spell to cloud over the moon, he would turn back into a person – whoever he is – and then I could escape. Oh... I can't remember any weather spells! _

_This is it, then, _she thought as the werewolf advanced, almost lazily, confident that its prey would not be able to escape or put up much of a fight. _This is the end. Oh, but I do not want it to end like this! There is still so much I have to do! I was going to be the first female Minister of Magic and then oh, why does it have to be like this? _

"I don't want to die!" she shrieked, the shout echoing around the shadowy clearing. The werewolf hesitated, just for a moment, and then—

Out of nowhere a huge majestic stag cannoned into the werewolf, sending it flying with a swipe from its long dangerous-looking antlers. The werewolf howled furiously, and staggered to its feet.

Lily backed away, amazed, as the two creatures circled each other, each one making ferocious noises. The werewolf looked ready to pounce. From behind Lily came a low growl, and a huge dog – the same dog, she realised with a start, that she had seen Sirius transform into that night – bounded past her, where it went to stand side by side with the stag.

The werewolf stared at them both for a long time, presumably weighing up its chances. Then it let out a whimper, turned, and raced away, crashing through the undergrowth and disappearing. The great black dog nodded its head at the stag, then followed the werewolf.

"Wow" Lily breathed.

The stag approached her, looking so majestic and graceful that Lily couldn't resist holding up a hand and stroking the smooth hairs between its antlers.

She didn't know why, or indeed how, but she had the strangest suspicion that she knew the stag. Like they were connected in some strange distant way.

The stag lowered its head complacently, its green eyes twinkling.

_Green eyes? How unusual James?!_

---

Peter watched the unfolding scene before him with a deadened expression. It was almost like he was dreaming, only vaguely aware of what was happening. He watched them both, a sneer gradually creeping onto his lips. 

James, after his oh-so-heroic rescue had changed back into a human. Lily, for whatever reason, had started crying, and James had sat down beside her and hugged her. That had been about ten minutes ago. Only they were still hugging. He was talking to her in a low whisper, so Peter couldn't make out a word of it, but the sick feeling at the bottom of his stomach told him more than he needed to know. He turned away.

_If only I had been able to do something. If I had saved her, then it would be me holding her right now, it would be me comforting her and telling her that everything is gonna be alright. But no. It's him. And it's my own stupid fault._

_What could I do? I'm a rat, for goodness sake, how could I save her from the werewolf?_

_Ah_, wheedled an unpleasant little voice in his head, one he longed to squash into oblivion, _but she ran from you to him. If you had helped her, who's to say she would not have carried on running? Was it really she you were trying to save, or yourself? After all, you'd be much more use to her as a human than as a rat. You just wanted to save your own skin, to hell with Lily, whom you _supposedly_ have _feelings_ for_

Peter began to trudge back towards castle, his heart heavier than lead. The Dark Mark glittered cheerfully above him, illuminating the forest with a sickly green. Peter felt no fear when he looked at it. He felt nothing. Who cares if some stupid old guy called Voldemort wants to put his pictures in the air? Who cares, honestly, who _really_ cares if Voldemort kills someone you've had never even heard of? What did it matter? 

What did anything matter? Somehow, there didn't seem to be much point in trying to save the world from the clutches of a mad wizard any more. Either way, he'd just end up miserable and alone; it didn't matter what happened in between.

Nothing matters. He had no sunshine any more. He had nothing. He looked up at the sky through tired, miserable eyes. He wondered, briefly, if the sun would ever shine on him again. If he'd ever feel hope, or happiness.

Probably not. But then, it really didn't matter any more 

---

"And Snape reckoned we'd put something in his cauldron, even though I _told_ him we wouldn't dream of it. He only went and started all over again!" Sirius grinned, sitting down at the Gryffindor table and pouring himself a glass of water. "Took him an hour to get back to where he was before!"

James laughed. "Nicely done, Sirius." He glanced at Peter, whose face had remained conspicuously blank during Sirius' tale, and now wore a vacant expression. "What's is the matter with you, Peter? You've been acting weird all day! It's like you're not even listening to me! It's like you aren't even there any more!"

Peter turned his dull eyes on James, and shrugged. "Tired," he said quietly, by way of explanation. His eyes left James' disbelieving face and landed on a boy striding confidently from the Great Hall, his robes immaculate, as usual. He stood up.

"Whoah! Pete's leaving before the dessert? You sick or something?" Sirius asked.

Peter glanced at Sirius, but did not respond. He looked about the Hall, desperate to catch a sight of the boy again. "I have to go and see someone" he trailed off, and scurried away, narrowly avoiding a collision with a girl clutching a pitcher of pumpkin juice. 

He was vaguely aware of James shouting something after him, but he ignored it, and sprinted out of the hall, not bothering to look when Remus called his name curiously as he rushed past him. They didn't matter any more. They _didn't_. 

There he was, the boy, walking slowly across the entrance hall, looking thoughtful. 

"Hey!" Peter cried, skidding to a halt in front of him. "Hey I have to talk to you."

The boy turned round and raised an eyebrow at him. "You do?" he asked imperiously. "And to what do I owe this pleasure?"

"Lucius, please!" Peter snapped. "This is serious." He glanced back at the hall for a moment, then turned back to the Lucius Malfoy. "Tell me just who is this Lord Voldemort, anyway?"

And Lucius Malfoy smiled.

The End

---

It's finished! And on a rather sinister note too, I dare say. Thanks to everyone who has reviewed me, and sorry to anyone who has been waiting over the many months it took me to actually sit down and write this. My style of writing had probably changed a bit in between this chapter and the last – hopefully for the better. Any questions, complaints, general comments, or messages from Mars are very much appreciated. All quiet on the Harry Potter front at the moment, but I shall probably return in a few months to plague you all again. Good old Pettigrew. (Sorry, that just slipped out.)

Au revoir, and congratulations, for having the patience to read all the way 


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